The Hardest Job

I think that being a working mother is one of the hardest jobs ever. Every week day except for Summer vacation, I must get up and leave my child. It is crazy how much it hurts to this day. I know that many of you may be saying to yourself that I could easily stay home and you are right. I could stay home, but then my family would definitely struggle. This leads me to the question of whether my child would be happy even if we were struggling or am I doing the right thing by providing a comfortable life for my family and me by working? The problem is I do not think there is a wrong or right answer. It's a decision that must simply be made by Jeremy and me.

If I didn't work, we would lose half of our income and our insurance. Money is just not that important but insurance most definitely is. It is so wonderful to not have to worry about the possibly enormous bills that come along with routine check-ups and emergencies. For instance, during the month of June, I went to the local ER three times and my regular doctor four times over poison ivy and an allergic reaction to medication. Had it not been for insurance, we would probably be up to our eyeballs in debt for these medical expenses. Think about the "normal" medical expenses for a year. An adult should have a yearly check-up, two dental visits, women's health check-up (for females of course), and an eye exam annually. Also, my child is still having her well-baby check-ups so she is seen more than one time a year. Those annual exams alone could add up to a lot of money with no insurance which is why insurance is one major justification of me being a working mom.

Another reason I choose to work is financial stability. It is nice being able to do things and provide extra for my family. It is also nice being able to have a savings account. It is nice to have already started Chloe's college fund. Trust me, I understand that when all is said and done that money is not important, but the truth is that the lack of money can cause a great amount of stress.

My husband hates when I say this, but I also think that being a working mom makes me a better mom. I feel that I cherish the time with my child more than stay-at-home mom. I'm sure that statement may make some people angry, but it is just my opinion. I don't feel the need to have "me" time that I see so many stay-at-home moms desire. I look so forward to time with Chloe that I want to get down on her level and play with her when I can.

Lastly, I choose to work because I love my job. I love reading and writing and teaching. So it makes me happy that I teach English which is essentially two of my favorite things. Plus, it enables me to continue learning. I hear so many parents say they never get adult interaction and when they do all they know to talk about is their children. Now don't get me wrong, I could talk about Chloe all day, but I'm sure not everyone wants to hear every single "cute" thing she does. And I'm sure some people will argue that at least I have the summer with her, but what non-teachers do not realize is that teaching isn't simply an eight hour shift five days a week, it is sometimes a 12 or 14 hour day six or seven days a week when you consider grading, coaching, etc.

And while I sit here and type this out, justifying to myself why I work, it is still the hardest job ever being a working mother. I love my child and I want to spend every waking minute with her, but I realize that it is just not the best thing for my family. Luckily, my parents are helping to raise her since my mom is her babysitter. I love my mom and I think that she is so wonderful with Chloe. I know that she is in good hands even if they are not my hands.

Here is a picture of Chloe at the pool this Summer on one of our mother/daughter bonding adventures!

Preparing a Manuscript

So I started my blog a while back because I wanted to write more… and that is basically as far as it went. I even titled it “The Smallest Sprout” because I realized that I just needed to write a little in order for it to “grow.” Of course there is no one to blame but me for not carving out time daily to do something that I wanted to do. So I’m going to assume full responsibility and just attempt this whole blogging thing again. I’m hoping to at least write four days a week.

If you are wondering why the obsession with writing, it is all because I have begun a course in which, upon completion of the course, I will have written a manuscript for a children’s book suitable to send to a publisher! I am so excited because I have wanted to be a published author for a while now; at least for the last six years.

I have 10 assignments to complete over the next 40 weeks, and I’ve already sent in one-a short story.  So nine more to go. Now I’m just waiting to hear back from my advisor on what she thought of my first story. Unfortunately, the first assignment had to be sent by snail mail and must come back by snail mail so the wait is excruciating. However, I get to send the next assignments by email so response will be much quicker. Yay!

I think I realized that I could achieve this goal two summers ago when I completed the Summer Institute of the Appalachian Writing Project. I am so thankful for that opportunity. I just hope I can be as successful as other members of the AWP.

I know this blog seems all over the place, but that’s what happens when I don’t sit down to write often. I have so many things I want to discuss, but they should each have their separate blog. Just maybe I’ll get a chance to dive in to one of my topics tomorrow.

A Room for My Thoughts

     I finally did it. I created this blog. Since my completion of the Summer Institute of the Appalachian Writing Project, I realize just how much I need to write. Writing is therapeutic. I think back to the writing I have done in my life, specifically when Livejournal was so popular, and I'm happy to have had that online journal because it began my love of blogging. I now ask myself why I waited to so long to blog once again.

     One thing that does amuse me is how long it took me to title my blog. I debated for at least two weeks. Then, I finally decided that my blog should be titled happinessisachoice. After all the debate (within my head), I began to create the blog and my title has already been taken! So I went with one of my many other choices... thesmallestsprout which hails from a Walt Whitman quote which I will leave you with:

The smallest sprout shows there is really no death;
And if ever there was, it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas’d the moment life appear’d.

All goes onward and outward—nothing collapses;
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.